Note: This journal may be tongue-in-cheek, but it is not satirical
The first thing you should know about River Song is that she lies. All the time. The second is that she really is an epic troll. Get that down.
Another important thing to know about River is that she's had a difficult and complicated life, and sometimes the best way to make it through a life like that without going mad is to have one hell of a sense of humor, and find every chance you can to turn those difficult times into an adventure.
In summary, River Song is the Doctor's best and closest friend over many of his lifetimes. Her life went mostly back-to-front with his up until near her pardon in Stormcage, afterward it scrambled all about. She loves him, though the feelings aren't returned to the extent she feels them. She is essentially his longest lasting, most capable drinking buddy. There's occasional snogging after intense adventures or after a few hyper vodkas. They also like to play a game, and troll each other with fake hints of futures that don't happen in the hopes of lightening up a dark lifetime. Ultimately, she learned the things she did by growing up with him, and learned his name through a rather comical accident with living psychic machinery.
This journal will be taking a slightly different look at River Song, still compliant with all of confirmed canon, but playing an interpretation that veers somewhat away from the hinted canon. Her background details will still be full of spoilers for those not caught up to canon, so beware reading her history. This journal is not currently AU...but that may just change.
Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with BBC, Steven Moffat, River Song, nor Alex Kingston.